I’m not sure why I’m surprised when I call out to God and He answers so poignantly. It has to be a reflection of how little faith I still have. In one breath I pronounce He can move mountains. But in my mind, I think “but maybe not for me, maybe not now, maybe not in my lifetime.”
He has every right to take me by the shoulders and violently shake me, screaming at me “Don’t You Get IT! I love you! I’m your Father!” But He knows I’ve faced that confusing reality. He loves me so passionately He enters my thoughts and dreams as only a gentleman could. He patiently waits until I ask Him to step in and then He gently opens my heart and minds to scenes and ideas that only He could orchestrate.
This morning in my quiet time, I pleaded to Him, “Lord, please show me that this is Your vision, please show me this is Your desire. I don’t want to go any further if this dream is being guided by my hand. Please show me I am following the path You have laid before me.”
Don’t think of me in too weird of a light, but I’m physically shaken by the glimpse He shared with me. It’s more than difficult to write now as my eyes seemed to be leaking.
The glimpse He showed me involves dirt and red kites.
Only He could know the desires of my heart and craft it into reality.
Sometimes I cause myself undue anxiety while trying to think 15 minutes ahead of everyone and everything. I actually try to think through every possible scenario, conversation, response, and possibility. Even this morning I’m trying to think through all the the things that need to move and in what direction and in what timing for God to make this vision a reality.
He pulled back the glimpse He gave me of dirt and red kites to show me the universe and the vast cosmos. The spinning of the planets, the path of the wind, the birth of a star are in His hands.
Who am I to doubt Him? What power do I possess on my own separate from Him?
I confess to doubt and fear. I confess to mistrust and disobedience. I also confess, to fervently chasing after God and running down the path He has set before me.
Do you find yourself doubting God even in the seemingly “little” things of this life? Has God spoken into your thoughts and dreams? How do you trust God?